Men and Women Relationship: Funny Poems and Sayings


Relationship between men and women is romantic and yet often funny and hilarious. Here are some poems and funny sayings about men and women’s relationship and love. Enjoy.

The Moods of a Woman

An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
A woman is a bundle of contradiction,
She’s afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
She’ll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
She’ll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,
She’ll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk,
At times she’ll be vengeful, merry and sad,
She’ll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.

The Moods of a Man

Hungry
Horny
Sleepy

 

NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!!!

ALL ARE WELCOME – OPEN TO MEN ONLY
Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS: DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE: DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

LOSS OF VIRILITY
Losing the remote control to your significant other – Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming – Open forum

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS: DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH: BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS: BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT: LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Instructions how to have a happy marriage.

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Women’s Training Courses

Long awaited training courses are now finally available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears – The Last Resort, not the First.

8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don’t Like To

21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

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Husband shopping

A store that sells husbands has just opened, where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor, you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband…
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” so she goes to the fourth floor, and sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, loves kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Oh, mercy me!”
So she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted she runs to the sixth floor and sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 3,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart’s Husband Store.

Image source: Men, Women and Relationships

Motivational Great Love Quotes

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.
Mahatma Gandhi

A hug is like a boomerang – you get it back right away.
Bil Keane

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That’s basic spelling that every woman ought to know.
Mistinguett

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
Ingrid Bergman

A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
Rupert Brooke

A lady of forty-seven who had been married twenty-seven years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: ‘Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.’
James Thurber

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
Woodrow Wyatt

A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
George Jean Nathan

A pair of star-crossed lovers.
William Shakespeare

A thing of beauty is a joy forever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness.
John Keats

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Bible – Ecclesiastes

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.
Stendhal (Henri Beyle)

A woman knows the face of the man she loves like a sailor knows the open sea.
Honoré de Balzac

A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart.
William Shakespeare

Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt!
Lucy Van Pelt
In Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz.

All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time.
Julie Andrews

All mankind love a lover.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

All men, even the most surly are influenced by affection.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge

All you need is love.
John Lennon & Paul McCartney

All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.
Leo Tolstoy

And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

And think not you can Direct the course of love, For love, If it finds you worthy, Directs your course.
Kahlil Gibran
The Prophet.

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
Rose Franken

As soon go kindle fire with snow
As seek to quench the fire of love with words.
William Shakespeare

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.
Plato

Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
Homer Simpson

Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love, though I’d stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner

Believe me if all those endearing young charms,
Which I gaze on so fondly today,
Were to change by tomorrow and fleet in my arms,
Like fairy gifts fading away!
Thou wouldst still be adored, as this moment thou art,
Let thy loveliness fade as it will
And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart
Would entwine itself verdantly still.
It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,
And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear,
That the fervor and faith of a soul may be known,
To which time will but make thee more dear!
Oh the heart that has truly loved never forgets,
But as truly loves on to the close,
As the sunflower turns to her god when he sets
The same look which she turned when he rose!
Thomas Moore

Brief is life but love is long.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

But love is blind, and lovers cannot see
The pretty follies that themselves commit.
William Shakespeare

Resources:
Love GiftsÂ