Silly and Funny Sayings, Quotes

We all can use and need humor and laughter in our lives. Here are some of the silliest and funny quotes that make you chuckle or smile. We all have a tough days here and there, and these quotes are for those rainy day when we can use little bit of help to make us smile at silliness of the quotes.

Silly Quotes:

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you. -Unknown

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? – Unknown

The broccoli says ‘I look like a small tree’, the mushroom says ‘I look like an umbrella’, the walnut says ‘I look like a brain’, and the banana says ‘Can we please change the subject?’ – Unknown

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected! -Unknown

“Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand.”- Benny Hill

“A friend is someone who’s there when he needs you”- Unknown

“Committee – a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.” – M. Berle

“I’m gonna live forever, or die trying.” – Joseph Heller (Catch 22)

“Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.” – Hubert Humphrey

“Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do.” -Ronald Reagan

“Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder” – Unknown

“I can see clearly now, the brain has gone” – Unknown

Spit happens (on a baby’s bib)

“I am nobody
Nobody is perfect
Therefore, I must be perfect!”
– Unknown

“Some people say that one’s personality is reflected off of their car… Well, I have no car.” – Unknown

If barbie is so popular….then y do u have 2 buy her friends? – Unknown

I intend to live forever, so far so good. -Unknown

I got to sit down and talk about where I stand. -Unknown

I am nobody and nobody is perfect, therefore, I am perfect. -Unknown

I can quit chocolate anytime I like, but I am not a quitter. -Unknown

A woman tells her doctor, ‘I’ve got a bad back.’
The doctor says, ‘It’s old age.’
The woman says, ‘I want a second opinion.’
The doctor says: ‘Okay – you’re ugly as well.’ -Unknown

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. -Phyllis Diller

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. -Carl Sagan

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. -Gordon R. Dickson

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher…and that is a good thing for any man. -Socrates

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn’t take it out of my garden. -Eric Morecambe

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.” -Rita Mae Brown

Isn’t it strange? The same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously. -Cincinnati Enquirer

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. – W. C. Field

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do. -Dale Carnegie

Men marry women with the hope they will never change.
Women marry men with the hope they will change.
Invaribly they are both disappointed. – Albert Einstein

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
-George Carlen

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