Funny Movie Quotes: Airplane

I remember when I first saw move Airplane when I was in 3rd year of my college. Yes, movie came out much earlier but I did not get to see it then. I happened to see the movie in blockbuster rental store, and I saw image of Peter Graves, whom I loved in Old Television series called Mission Impossible. In side note, the tv series is much cool, compare to Tom Cruise movie series in my opinion and I am sure many die hard fan of old mission impossible series and Peter Graves. Anyway, so I thought this movie to be something of sci-fi or technical type of movie, so I was in totally surprise when I saw the movie, I had not seen anything like that and I think it is one of the funniest movie with some clever and funny dialogues. I am sure you all remember it those who have seen it, here are some that I like;

Steve McCroskey: He’ll never bring it down in this soup. Never! Not one chance in a million.
Rex Kramer: I know. I know. But it’s his ship now, his command; he’s in charge, he’s the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho, number one…
Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We’re bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We’re coming in from the north, below their radar. Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back? Ted Striker: I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.
Striped controller: Bad news. The fog’s getting thicker.
Johnny: [jumps to an overweight controller] And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.
Elaine Dickinson: Ladies and gentleman, this is your stewardess speaking. We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused. This is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There’s no reason to be alarmed and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?Steve McCroskey:[while waiting for Kramer, talking to the plane, and in the tower]Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines!

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!

Rex Kramer: All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close. Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it’s just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
Dr. Rumack:
(repeated before, during and after the landing attempt)I just wanna tell you both: good luck. We’re all counting on you.

airplane

Rumack: You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.

Striker: The stewardess told me that the pilot needed help…[Notices that only the autopilot is flying the plane] BOTH pilots?!
Rumack: Can you fly this plane and land it?
Striker: Surely you can’t be serious?
Rumack: I amserious. And don’t call me Shirley.

Ted Striker: Because of my mistake, six men didn’t return from that raid.
Elaine Dickinson: Seven. Lieutenant Zip died this morning.

 

Reporter: What kind of plane is it?

Johnny: Oh, it’s a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol!

 

Rex Kramer: Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Dr. Rumack: Captain, these passengers don’t have much time. How soon can we land?
Capt. Oveur: I can’t tell.
Dr. Rumack: You can tell me, I’m a doctor.
Capt. Oveur: What I mean is, I don’t know.
Dr. Rumack: Well can’t you take a guess?
Capt. Oveur:…Not for another two hours.
Dr. Rumack: You can’t take a guess for another two hours?
Capt. Oveur: No what I’m saying is we can’t land for another two hours.
[as the plane prepares to take off]
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.
McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make of this? [hands Johnny a map]Johnny: This? Well, I can make a hat; I can make a broach; I can make a teradactyl!Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9’er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9’er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9’er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower’s radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That’s Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?

Click here to see Airplane! 2 Flicks for the Flight (Airplane and Airplane 2)

Click here to instantly watch Airplane! and Airplane II: The Sequel on Amazon Instant Video

Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

[Later]

Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.

Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.

Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There’s never stopping in a white zone.

Female announcer: Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!

Male announcer: Listen Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.

[Later]

Male announcer: There’s just no stopping in a white zone.

 

Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.

Male announcer: It’s really the only sensible thing to do, if it’s done safely. Therapeutically there’s no danger involved.

Do you have your favorite Airplane movie quote? I came almost stopping and freezing Airplane DVD, and I almost felt like writing whole movie quotes, including the jive brothers and other quotes. Just watch the movie, it is funny and humor and smiling sure does wonder to us.

Source: Airplane DVD, IMDB

Image source: Airplaine DVD Cover

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