The Nightmare Before Christmas Quotes

Image Source: The Nightmare Before Christmas

I really like this movie as an adult but I am not sure that it is appropriate for young kids though. The Nightmare Before Christmas originated in a poem written by Tim Burton in 1982, while he was working as a Disney animator. With the success of Vincent in the same year, Disney started to consider developing The Nightmare Before Christmas as either a short film or 30-minute television special. Over the years, Burton’s thoughts regularly returned to the project, and in 1990, he made a development deal with Disney. Production started in July 1991 in San Francisco. Disney decided to release the film under their Touchstone Pictures banner because they thought the movie would be “too dark, and scary for kids.

The movie was masterpiece in animation techniques and did very well in box office.

The Nightmare Before Christmas Quotes:

Mayor: Jack, please, I’m only an elected official here, I can’t make decisions by myself!

Santa: ‘Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems in a place perhaps you’ve seen in your dreams. For the story you’re about to be told began with the holiday worlds of auld. Now you’ve probably wondered where holidays come from. If you haven’t I’d say it’s time you begun.

Jack Skellington: [singing] There’s children throwing snowballs / instead of throwing heads / they’re busy building toys / and absolutely no one’s dead!

Dr. Finkelstein: What a joy to think of all *we’ll* have in common. *We’ll* have conversations *worth* having.

Dr. Finkelstein: Sally! You came back.
Sally: I had to.
Dr. Finkelstein: For this.
[holds Sally’s detatched arm; she causes it to wave at herself]
Sally: [smiles] Yes.
Dr. Finkelstein: Shall we, then?

Mayor: How horrible our Christmas will be!
Jack Skellington: *No.*
[the Mayor switches to his upset face]
Jack Skellington: How *jolly*!
Mayor: Oh. How *jolly* our Christmas will be.
Jack Skellington: No, Zero. Down, boy… My, what a brilliant nose you have. The better to light my way! You’re the head of the team, Zero!

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Lock, Shock, Barrel: Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws?
Lock: I wanna do it.
Barrel: Let’s draw straws!
Shock: Jack said we should work together.
Barrel: Three of a kind.
Lock: Birds of a feather.
Lock, Shock, Barrel: Now and forever!

Jack Skellington: And one more thing…
[stops Barrel from leaving]
Jack Skellington: leave that no-account Oogie-Boogie out of this!
Barrel: Whatever you say, Jack.
Shock: Of course, Jack.
Lock: Wouldn’t dream of it, Jack.
[a view from behind reveals their fingers are crossed]

Santa: [from in the bag] Me on vacation? On Christmas Eve?
Barrel: Where are we taking him?
Shock: Where?
Lock: To Oogie Boogie, of course. There’s no where in the whole world more comfortable than *that*. And Jack *said* to make him comfortable, didn’t he?
Barrel, Shock: Yes, he did.

Santa: [singing] Release me now or you’ll have to face the dire consequences. / The children are expecting me, so please come to your senses.

Oogie Boogie Man: [singing] You’re jokin’, you’re jokin’! / I can’t believe my ears! / Would someone shut this fella up? / I’m drownin’ in my tears! / It’s funny, I’m laughing! / You really are too much. / And now, with your permission, / I’m going to do my stuff.
[snake dangles from his mouth]
Santa: [fearfully] What are you going to do?
Oogie Boogie Man: I’m gonna do the best I can!

Jack Skellington: [singing] And on a dark cold night, under full moonlight, he flies into the fog like a vulture in the sky!
[in a deeper tone]
Jack Skellington: And they call him, Sandy… Clawssss…!

Jack Skellington: [singing] I’m a master of fright, / and a demon of light, / and I’ll scare you right out of your pants. / To a guy in Kentucky / I’m Mister Unlucky / And I’m know thoughout England and France, / And since I am dead, / I can take off my head /
[does it]
Jack Skellington: to recite Shakespearean quotations. / No animal or man /
[puts it back on]
Jack Skellington: Can SCREAM like I can / With the fury of my recitations.

Sally: Lunch!
Dr. Finkelstein: Mm, what’s this?
[sniffs]
Dr. Finkelstein: Wormswort! Mmm…
[prepares to take a bite but then sniffs suspiciously]
Dr. Finkelstein: …And frog’s breath?
Sally: [innocently] What’s wrong? I thought you *liked* frog’s breath.
Dr. Finkelstein: Nothing’s more suspicious than frog’s breath! Until *you* taste it, I won’t swallow a spoonful!
Sally: I’m not hungry.
[shrugs and in doing so pretends to accidentally knock over the spoon he holds up]
Sally: Oops!
Dr. Finkelstein: [as she shoves the spoon aside on the floor and, still bent over, removes a slotted spoon from her sock] You want me to starve! An old man like me who hardly has strength as it is! Me! To whom you owe your very *life*!
Sally: Oh, don’t be silly!
[Dips the sifting spoon in the soup and pretends to taste it]
Sally: Mmmm! See? Scrumptious.

Mayor: [singing] What a splendid idea! This Christmas sounds fun. I fully endorse it –
[while shooing away a bat he switches his face to look unhappy]
Mayor: let’s try it at once!

Sally: I had the most terrible vision.
Jack Skellington: That’s splendid!
Sally: No – it was about your Christmas. There was smoke… and fire!
Jack Skellington: That’s not *my* Christmas! *My* Christmas is filled with laughter, and joy… and this: my Sandy Claws outfit. I want you to make it.
Sally: Jack, please listen to me. It’s going to be a disaster!
Jack Skellington: How could it be? Just follow the pattern!
[holds up design of outfit]
Jack Skellington: This part’s red, the trim is white…
Sally: It’s a mistake, Jack!
Jack Skellington: Now don’t be modest. Who else is clever enough to make my Sandy Claws outfit?
Mayor: Next!
Jack Skellington: I have every confidence in you.
Sally: But it seems wrong to me. Very wrong.

Jack Skellington: [singing] You know, I think this Christmas thing is not as tricky as it seems! But why should they have all the fun? It should belong to anyone! Not anyone, in fact, but me! Why, I could make a Christmas tree! And there’s not a reason I can find, I couldn’t have a Christmastime! I bet I could improve it, too! And that’s exactly what I’ll do!

Kid: Santa?
Jack Skellington: Merry Christmas! And what is your name?
Kid: uh… uh…
Jack Skellington: That’s all right. I have a present for you anyway. There ya go, sonny! Ho ho ho! HEEHEEHEE!
[slips out the chimney]
Mother: And what did Santa bring you, Honey?
[kid shows parents his present – a shrunken head; parents scream]
Jack Skellington: [flying away] Merry Christmas!

Hunger Game: Catching Fire Movie Quotes

Image source: Catching Fire Movie Poster (amazon)

Hunger Game Trilogy has been selling very well and there have been movie which has been made as well. Hunger Game first in series came and did very well. Currently second movie has been released and it is called Hunger Game Catching Fire and seemed to be doing very well on box office.

If you have not read the books check out the trilogy of Hunger Game here:

Here are a few interesting quotes from Hunger Game: Catching fire (2nd in series) :

President Snow: “You fought very hard in the Games, Miss Everdeen. But they were games. Would you like to be in a real war? Imagine thousands of your people, dead. Your loved ones, gone.”
Katniss Everdeen: “What do I need to do?”

Katniss Everdeen: “Haymitch please. Please just help me get through this trip!”
Haymitch Abernathy: “This trip doesn’t end when you get back home.”
Peeta Mellark: “So what do we do?”
Haymitch Abernathy: “From now on, your job is to be a distraction. So people forget what the real problems are.”

“Caesar Flickerman: Peeta, the wedding, never to be?
Peeta Mellark: Actually, we got married in secret.
Caesar Flickerman: A secret wedding. Alright, do tell.
Peeta Mellark: We wanted our love to be eternal. You know, Katniss and I were luckier than most. I wouldn’t have any regrets at all, if it weren’t… if…
Caesar Flickerman: If it weren’t… for what? What?
Peeta Mellark: If it weren’t for the baby.”

“Peeta Mellark: Katniss, I don’t know what kind of deals you made with Haymitch, but he made me promises too.
[Pulls off the locket around her neck]
Peeta Mellark: If you die, and I live, I’d have nothing. Nobody else that I care about.
Katniss Everdeen: Peeta.
Peeta Mellark: It’s different for you. Your family needs you.
[Opens locket to see three pictures – Gale, Prim, and her Mother]
Peeta Mellark: You have to live. For them.
Katniss Everdeen: What about you?
Peeta Mellark: Nobody needs me.
Katniss Everdeen: I do. I need you.

Peeta Mellark: Remember Katniss, today’s all about making allies.
Katniss Everdeen: So far I’m not overwhelmed by our choices.

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Johanna Mason: You guys look amazing.
Katniss Everdeen: Thank you.

Katniss Everdeen: Haymitch, please. Please, just help me get through this trip.
Haymitch Abernathy: This trip doesn’t end when you get back home.
Peeta Mellark: So what do we do?
Haymitch Abernathy: From now on, your job is to be a distraction so people forget what the real problems are.

Johanna Mason: My stylist is such an idiot. District 7, lumber. Trees. Ugh. I’d love to put an axe on her face. So what do you think, now that the whole world wants to sleep with you?
Katniss Everdeen: The whole world doesn’t…
Johanna Mason: I wasn’t talking to you.
[Looks at Peeta]
Katniss Everdeen: Okay.
Johanna Mason: [Approaches Peeta] Unzip, please.
[Katniss rolls her eyes. Johanna undresses]
Johanna Mason: Thanks. Let’s do it again sometime.
Haymitch Abernathy: Thank you. Johanna Mason, District 7.

Peeta Mellark: [Eulogy for the fallen tributes of District 11] They fought with honor and dignity until the end. Both Thresh and Rue were so young. But our lives aren’t just measured in years. The measure in our lives are the people we touch around us. For myself, for Katniss. We know that without Thresh and Rue, we wouldn’t be standing here today.

President Snow: “Her entire species must be eradicated.”
Plutarch Heavensbee: “Her species, sir?”
President Snow: “The other victors. Because of her, they all pose a threat. Because of her, they all think they’re invincible.”

Cinna: No waving and smiling this time. I want you to look straight ahead as if the audience and this whole event are beneath you.
Katniss Everdeen: That should be easy.

Primrose Everdeen: Since the last games, something is different. I can see it.
Katniss Everdeen: What can you see?
Primrose Everdeen: Hope.

Primrose Everdeen: You saved my life. You gave me a chance.
Katniss Everdeen: Yes, to live.
Primrose Everdeen: No, to do something.

Katniss Everdeen: I’m really not in the mood for a lecture. I’ll apologize to Effie later. I thought you were Haymitch.

Peeta Mellark: You don’t have to apologize to anyone, including me. I know it’s not fair on me to hold you to things you said in the games. You saved us, I know that, but I can’t go on acting for the cameras and then just ignoring each other in real life. So if you can stop looking at me like I’m wounded, then I can quit acting like it. Then maybe, we have a shot at being friends.

Katniss Everdeen: I’ve never been very good at friends.
Peeta Mellark: For starters, it does help when you know the person. I hardly know anything about you except that you’re stubborn and good with a bow.
Katniss Everdeen: That about sums me up.
Peeta Mellark: No, there’s more than that you just don’t want to tell me.

Peeta Mellark: See Katniss, the way the whole “friend” thing works is that you have to tell each other the deep stuff.
Katniss Everdeen: The deep stuff?
Peeta Mellark: Yeah.
Katniss Everdeen: Like what?
Peeta Mellark: Like… what’s your favorite color?
Katniss Everdeen: Oh, now you’ve stepped over the line.

Peeta Mellark: They won’t touch Prim!
Johanna Mason: Your fiancé’s right. The whole country loves your sister. If they torture her, or do anything to her, forget the districts. There will be riots in the Capitol. Hey, how does that sound Snow? What if we, what if we set your backyard on fire? You can’t put everybody in here!
[everyone looks at her in disbelief]
Johanna Mason: What? He can’t hurt me. There’s nothing left that I love.

President Snow: She’s not who they think she is. She just wants to save her skin. It’s as simple as that. She has become a beacon of hope for them. She has to be eliminated. What do you think?
Plutarch Heavensbee: I agree she should die but in the right way. At the right time. Katniss Everdeen is a symbol. We don’t have to destroy her, just her image. Show them that she’s one of us now. Let them rally behind that. They’re gonna hate her so much they just might kill her for you.
[laughter]

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

The Wizard of The Oz movie is not only famous where I live but also all over the world. I simply love the song sung by Dorothy in the Wizard of the Oz Movie. Here is the inspirational song lyrics for Somewhere Over the Rainbow.. where dreams can come true!

If you are fan of the movie or classic movie, also check out famous movie quotes from the Wizard of The Oz here: Wizard of Oz Movie Quotes.

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW : The Wizard of Oz

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
There’s a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.

Someday I’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That’s where you’ll find me.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly.
Birds fly over the rainbow.
Why then, oh why can’t I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can’t I?

If you like this song, check out our more motivational songs lyrics and poems on our motivational quotes blog. Check out Wizard Of The Oz Movie here:

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Wizard of Oz Movie Quotes

Wizard Of Oz

Wizard of the Oz of one of the classic movie that almost everyone cherish and enjoys it. However, when I first saw it as a kid, I was scared and frighten by flying monkeys and some scary imaginary. I liked how movie changes from black and white to color when Dorothy goes to the oz.

The book was written in early 1900s and Wizard of Oz movie came out in 1939. It is now in 2010’s the movie is still classic and loved by many and many of the quotes from the movie such as “follow the yellow brick road..” and “Toto, I do not think we’re in Kansas anymore..” are still used by many TV shows and movies even now.

Here are some memorable quotes from the The Wizard Of The Oz Movie:

“Wizard of Oz: A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.”

“Wizard of Oz: They have one thing you haven’t got: a diploma. Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitartus Committiartum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of ThD.
Scarecrow: ThD?
Wizard of Oz: That’s… Doctor of Thinkology.

“Scarecrow: I haven’t got a brain… only straw.
Dorothy: How can you talk if you haven’t got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don’t know… But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking… don’t they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you’re right. ”
“Auntie Em: Help us out today and find yourself a place where you won’t get into any trouble!
Dorothy: A place where there isn’t any trouble. Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It’s not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It’s far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain…
[begins to sing “Over the Rainbow”] ”

“Wizard of Oz: As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.
Tin Woodsman: But I still want one.”

“Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: Now, state your business.
Dorothy: We want to see the wizard!
Guardian of the Emerald City Gates: The wizard? But nobody can see the great Oz, nobody’s *ever* seen the great Oz… even I’ve never seen him!
Dorothy: Well then, how do you know there is one?”

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“Dorothy: Your Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn’t be afraid of anything?
Cowardly Lion: Not nobody! Not nohow!
Tin Woodsman: Not even a rhinoceros?
Cowardly Lion: Imposerous!
Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus?
Cowardly Lion: Why, I’d thrash him from top to bottomus!
Dorothy: Supposing you met an elephant?
Cowardly Lion: I’d wrap him up in cellophane!
Scarecrow: What if it were a brontosaurus?
Cowardly Lion: I’d show him who was king of the forest!”

“Dorothy: [Reaches to pick an apple from the apple tree, the tree grabs the apple and slaps her hand] Ouch!
Apple Tree: What’d’ya think you’re doing?
Dorothy: We’ve been walking a long ways and I was hungry and… did you say something?
Apple Tree: She was hungry! Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?
Dorothy: Oh dear! I keep forgetting I’m not in Kansas!
Scarecrow: Come along Dorothy. You don’t want any of those apples! ”

Dorothy: “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore. We must be over the rainbow! ”

Scarcrow: “Why, if I had a brain I could…
[singing] I could wile away the hours,
Conferrin’ with the flowers,
Consultin’ with the rain.
And my head I’d be scratchin’
While my thoughts were busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.”

Wicked Witch of West: “[last words] Ohhh! You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! Ohhh! Look out! Look out! I’m going! Ohhhh – Ohhhhhhhhhh!”

The Wizard of Oz: 75th Anniversary Collector’s Edition (Blu-ray 3D / Blu-ray / DVD / UltraViolet + Amazon-Exclusive Flash Drive)

Dorothy: “There’s no place like home; there’s no place like home; there’s no place like home…”

“Wizard of Oz: Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. ”

“Tin Woodsman: What have you learned, Dorothy?
Dorothy: Well, I – I think that it – it wasn’t enough to just want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em – and it’s that – if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with! Is that right? ”

“Cowardly Lion: I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do! I do! I do! I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do! I do! I do! I do!
Wicked Witch of the West: You’ll believe in more than that before I’m finished with you.”

“Auntie Em: Help us out today and find yourself a place where you won’t get into any trouble!
Dorothy: A place where there isn’t any trouble. Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It’s not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It’s far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain…
[begins to sing “Over the Rainbow”] ”

Cowardly Lion: “[singing] Yeah, it’s sad, believe me, Missy,
When you’re born to be a sissy,
Without the vim and verve.
But I could show my prowess,
Be a lion, not a “mowess,”
If I only had the nerve.”

Munchkins: “[singing] You’re off to see the Wizard,
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.
You’ll find he is a whiz of a Wiz
If ever a Wiz there was.
If ever, oh ever, a Wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because…
Because of the wonderful things he does.”

Almira Gulch: Gale?
Uncle Henry Gale: Well, howdy, Miss Gulch.
Gulch: I want to see you and your wife right away about Dorothy!
Henry: Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?
Gulch: What she’s done? I’m all but lame from the bite on my leg!
Henry: You mean she bit you?
Gulch: No, her dog.
Henry: Oh. She bit her dog, eh?
Gulch: …No!

Auntie Em Gale: Almira Gulch, just because you own half the county doesn’t mean that you have the power to run the rest of us. For twenty-three years, I’ve been dying to tell you what I thought of you! And now… well, being a Christian woman, I can’t say it!

Cowardly Lion: All right, I’ll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I’ll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I’m going in there. There’s only one thing I want you fellows to do.
Tin Woodsman, Scarecrow: What’s that?
Cowardly Lion: Talk me out of it!

Dorothy: Weren’t you frightened?
Wizard of Oz: Frightened? Child, you’re talking to a man who’s laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe… I was petrified.

Wizard of Oz: You, my friend, are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate impression that just because you run away you have no courage; you’re confusing courage with wisdom.

Breaking Dawn Quotes From Twilight Series

There is Breaking Dawn movie out right now, which is second in series of twilight series books out of many successful book series. Here are some good quotes from the movie breaking dawn.

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Breaking Dawn Movie Quotes from Twilight

Edward Cullen: No measure of time with you will be long enough. But we’ll start with forever.

Bella Swan: You have to accept this for what it is.
Edward Cullen: Because you’ve given me no choice.

Edward Cullen: I’ll meet you at the altar.
Bella Swan: I’ll be the one in white.

Charlie Swan: You’re ready?
Bella Swan: Yeah. Just don’t let me fall, Dad.
Charlie Swan: Never.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen: What were you thinking?
Jacob Black: [smirks] That it’s just looking for someone to sink it’s teeth into.
Bella Swan: He’s thirsty.
Emmett Cullen: I know the feeling…

Charlie Swan: Edward will be a good husband. I know this because I’m a cop, I know things. Like how to hunt somebody to the ends of the earth
[people laugh]
Charlie Swan: and I know how to use a gun.

Charlie Swan: [on the phone with Bella] Well, you sound better.
Bella Swan: I am. I feel much better.
Charlie Swan: This whole thing must have put a kink in the whole honeymoon, huh?
Bella Swan: You could say that.
Charlie Swan: Otherwise, married life treating you okay? Edward still walks on water and all that?
Bella Swan: Yeah, but I mean, it is different now.
Charlie Swan: The important thing is that you’re better and that you’re coming home soon, right?

Jacob Black: You’re gonna make her drink that?
Dr. Carlisle Cullen: [pours blood into a drinking glass] It’s the fastest way to test the theory.
Jacob Black: [moves away from Bella] I think I’m gonna be sick.

Emmett Cullen: Bella, I hope you’ve been getting enough sleep these last 18 years, because you won’t be getting any more for a while.

Seth: How cool is this? A two-man pack. Two against the world.
Jacob Black: You’re getting on my nerves, Seth.
Seth: Right. Shutting up. Can do.

Jacob Black: Don’t do that.
Bella Swan: What?
Jacob Black: Smile like I’m your favorite person on the world.
Bella Swan: You’re one of them. It feels complete when you’re here, Jake.

Bella Swan: Are you okay? Being here?
Jacob Black: Why? Afraid I’ll trash your party?
[hears growling in the woods]
Jacob Black: You’re not the only one. You think I’d be used to telling you goodbye by now. Come on, you’re not supposed to be the one crying, Bella.
Bella Swan: Everyone cries at weddings.

Edward Cullen: It’s not too late to change your mind.
Bella Swan: What? Now you’re having second thoughts?
[studies Edward’s face]
Bella Swan: You are.
Edward Cullen: No. I’ve been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan.
Bella Swan: But? But?
Edward Cullen: I haven’t told you everything about myself.
Bella Swan: [sarcastically] hat? You’re not a virgin?

Bella Swan: Childhood is not from birth to a certain age. And at a certain age, the child is grown and puts away childish things. Childhood is the kingdom where nobody dies.

Renée: Thanks! Charlie, get in here!
Charlie Swan: You sure? I don’t wanna.
[to Bella’s surprise]
Charlie Swan: I know, I look hot.
Renée: We thought you needed something blue.
Charlie Swan: And something old besides your mother.
Renée: Nice.

Bella Swan: So this party. Will there be strippers?
Edward Cullen: [laughs] No, just a couple of mountain lions. Maybe a few bears.
Jasper Hale: Don’t worry, Bella, we’ll give him back in plenty of time.
Bella Swan: Okay, go before they break my house.
Emmett Cullen: Let’s go! Let’s go!

Bella Swan: Jake.
Jacob Black: Listen to me, Bella.
Bella Swan: [yells] Let me go!
Edward Cullen: Jacob, calm down. Alright?
Jacob Black: [yelling] Are you out of your mind? Huh? You’ll kill her!
Seth: Walk away, Jacob!
Sam Uley: Enough, Jacob.
Jacob Black: Stay out of this, Sam.
Sam Uley: You’re not going to start something that we’ll have to finish.
Jacob Black: She’ll die.
Sam Uley: She’s not our concern anymore.

Edward Cullen: Do you wanna go for a swim?
Bella Swan: Yeah, that sounds nice. I could use a few human minutes.
Edward Cullen: Don’t take too long, Mrs. Cullen.
Bella Swan: Okay.

Edward Cullen: How badly are you hurt?
Bella Swan: What?
Edward Cullen: No, Bella, look.
[shows bruises on her body]
Edward Cullen: Bella, I can’t tell you how sorry I am.
Bella Swan: I’m not! Really, I’m not. I’m fine.
Edward Cullen: Don’t say you’re fine. Just don’t.
Bella Swan: No, you don’t. Don’t ruin this.
Edward Cullen: I’ve already ruined it.
Bella Swan: Why can’t you see how perfectly happy I am? Or was five seconds ago. I mean now I’m sort of pissed off, actually.
Edward Cullen: You should be angry with me.
Bella Swan: I mean, we knew this was going to be tricky, right? I think we did amazing. I mean, it was amazing for me.

Edward Cullen: Bella? You having a nightmare?
Bella Swan: No. It was just a dream. It was a really good dream.
Edward Cullen: Then why are you crying?
Bella Swan: Because I wanted it to be real.
Edward Cullen: Tell me.
[is kissed by Bella]
Edward Cullen: Bella, I can’t.
Bella Swan: Please. Please?

Edward Cullen: Bella, these are our housekeepers, Gustavo and Kaure.
[in Portuguese]
Edward Cullen: This is my wife, Bella.
Gustavo: Excuse me.
[leaves fearfully with Kaure]

Billy: Hey son.
Jacob Black: What’s going on?
Billy: Bella called him.
Charlie Swan: Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. You okay?
Jacob Black: So you finally heard from Bella?
Charlie Swan: They’re extending their trip. Seems she caught a bug. They wanna wait until she feels better before they travel.
Jacob Black: She’s sick.

Alice Cullen: Bella? Are you alright?
Bella Swan: I’m not 100% sure.
Alice Cullen: Why? What’s wrong? I just.
Bella Swan: You just what? Alice, what did you see?
Alice Cullen: Here’s Carlisle.
Dr. Carlisle Cullen: Bella, what’s going on?
Bella Swan: I don’t know.
[looks at Edward]
Bella Swan: I’m a little worried. Can vampires go into shock?
Dr. Carlisle Cullen: Has Edward been harmed?
Bella Swan: No. I know that it’s impossible, but I think that I’m pregnant.
[reacts in pain]

Edward Cullen: Damn it. Kaure’s making sure you’re still alive.
Kaure: [in Portuguese] What did you do with her?
Edward Cullen: What do you know about this?
Kaure: I know that you are a demon! You killed this little girl!
Bella Swan: What?
Edward Cullen: [to Bella] Her people have legends. She might have seen this before.
[to Kaure in Portuguese]
Edward Cullen: Please. Tell me how to help her.

Bella Swan: Edward, I’m sorry.
Edward Cullen: I can’t live without you.
Bella Swan: You won’t. You’re gonna have a part of me. He’ll need you.
Edward Cullen: Do you honestly think that I could love it or even tolerate it if it killed you?
Bella Swan: It’s not his fault. You have to accept what is.
Edward Cullen: [yells] Because you’ve given me no choice! Bella, we’re supposed to be partners. Remember? But you decided this on your own. You’ve decided to leave me.

Jacob Black: You’d risk your lives for her?
Esme Cullen: Of course we would. Bella’s a part of our family now.
Jacob Black: Yeah, I can see that. This really is a family. As strong as the one I was born into.

Jacob Black: It’s like gravity. Your whole center shifts. Suddenly, it’s not the Earth holding you here. You would do anything, be anything she needs. A friend, a brother, a protector.

Edward Cullen: Maybe I was too late.
Dr. Carlisle Cullen: No, Edward. Listen to her heart.

Image source: Amazon

Funny Movie Quotes: Airplane

I remember when I first saw move Airplane when I was in 3rd year of my college. Yes, movie came out much earlier but I did not get to see it then. I happened to see the movie in blockbuster rental store, and I saw image of Peter Graves, whom I loved in Old Television series called Mission Impossible. In side note, the tv series is much cool, compare to Tom Cruise movie series in my opinion and I am sure many die hard fan of old mission impossible series and Peter Graves. Anyway, so I thought this movie to be something of sci-fi or technical type of movie, so I was in totally surprise when I saw the movie, I had not seen anything like that and I think it is one of the funniest movie with some clever and funny dialogues. I am sure you all remember it those who have seen it, here are some that I like;

Steve McCroskey: He’ll never bring it down in this soup. Never! Not one chance in a million.

Rex Kramer: I know. I know. But it’s his ship now, his command; he’s in charge, he’s the boss, the head man, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho, number one…

Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We’re bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We’re coming in from the north, below their radar. Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back? Ted Striker: I can’t tell you that. It’s classified.

Striped controller: Bad news. The fog’s getting thicker.
Johnny: [jumps to an overweight controller] And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.

Elaine Dickinson: Ladies and gentleman, this is your stewardess speaking. We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused. This is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There’s no reason to be alarmed and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?Steve McCroskey:[while waiting for Kramer, talking to the plane, and in the tower]Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines!

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!

Rex Kramer: All right, Striker, you listen, and listen close. Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle; it’s just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
Dr. Rumack:
(repeated before, during and after the landing attempt)I just wanna tell you both: good luck. We’re all counting on you.

Rumack: You’d better tell the Captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.

Striker: The stewardess told me that the pilot needed help…[Notices that only the autopilot is flying the plane] BOTH pilots?!

Rumack: Can you fly this plane and land it?

Striker: Surely you can’t be serious?

Rumack: I amserious. And don’t call me Shirley.

Ted Striker: Because of my mistake, six men didn’t return from that raid.
Elaine Dickinson: Seven. Lieutenant Zip died this morning.

Reporter: What kind of plane is it?

Johnny: Oh, it’s a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol!

Rex Kramer: Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

Dr. Rumack: Captain, these passengers don’t have much time. How soon can we land?

Capt. Oveur: I can’t tell.

Dr. Rumack: You can tell me, I’m a doctor.

Capt. Oveur: What I mean is, I don’t know.

Dr. Rumack: Well can’t you take a guess?

Capt. Oveur:…Not for another two hours.

Dr. Rumack: You can’t take a guess for another two hours?

Capt. Oveur: No what I’m saying is we can’t land for another two hours.

[as the plane prepares to take off]
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I’ve been nervous lots of times.

McCroskey: Johnny, what can you make of this? [hands Johnny a map]Johnny: This? Well, I can make a hat; I can make a broach; I can make a teradactyl!Roger Murdock: Flight 2-0-9’er, you are cleared for take-off.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: L.A. departure frequency, 123 point 9’er.
Captain Oveur: Roger!
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Victor Basta: Request vector, over.
Captain Oveur: What?
Tower voice: Flight 2-0-9’er cleared for vector 324.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance, Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What’s our vector, Victor?
Tower voice: Tower’s radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That’s Clarence Oveur. Over.
Tower voice: Over.
Captain Oveur: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over!
Roger Murdock: What?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
Victor Basta: Who?

Click here to see Airplane! 2 Flicks for the Flight (Airplane and Airplane 2)

Click here to instantly watch Airplane! and Airplane II: The Sequel on Amazon Instant Video

Male announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

Female announcer: The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone.

[Later]

Male announcer: The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone.

Female announcer: No, the white zone is for loading of passengers and there is no stopping in a RED zone.

Male announcer: The red zone has always been for loading and unloading of passengers. There’s never stopping in a white zone.

Female announcer: Don’t you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for stopping!

Male announcer: Listen Betty, don’t start up with your white zone shit again.

[Later]

Male announcer: There’s just no stopping in a white zone.

Female announcer: Oh really, Vernon? Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion.

Male announcer: It’s really the only sensible thing to do, if it’s done safely. Therapeutically there’s no danger involved.

Do you have your favorite Airplane movie quote? I came almost stopping and freezing Airplane DVD, and I almost felt like writing whole movie quotes, including the jive brothers and other quotes. Just watch the movie, it is funny and humor and smiling sure does wonder to us.

Source: Airplane DVD, IMDB

Image source: Airplaine DVD Cover

Twilight Quotes: Twilight Book Quotes

Twilight is one of best selling book and hit movie about Vampire and human being. Here are some of the quotes from the very first of the book series of Twilight.

Twilight Book Quotes

When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it’s not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end. -Bella Swan, Twilight

I’d noticed that his eyes were black – coal black. -Bella Swan, Twilight

That’s Edward. He’s gorgeous, of course, but don’t waste your time. He doesn’t date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him.- Jessica Stanley, Twilight

I felt a surge of pity, and relief. Pity because, as beautiful as they were, they were outsiders, clearly not accepted. Relief that I wasn’t the only newcomer here, and certainly not the most interesting by any standard. -Bella Swan, Twilight

So, did you stab Edward Cullen with a pencil or what? I’ve never seen him act like that. -Mike Newton, Twilight

It was ridiculous, and egotistical, to think that I could affect anyone that strongly. It was impossible. And yet I couldn’t stop worrying that it was true. -Bella Swan, Twilight

It’s a good thing he’s happily married. A lot of the nurses at the hospital have a hard time concentrating on their work with him around. -Charlie Swan, Twilight

I was sure, though, in the instant our eyes met, that he didn’t look harsh or unfriendly as he had the last time I’d seen him. He looked merely curious again, unsatisfied in some way. -Bella Swan, Twilight

Edward Cullen is staring at you. -Jessica Stanley, Twilight

His fingers were ice-cold, like he’d been holding them in a snowdrift before class. But that wasn’t why I jerked my hand away so quickly. When he touched me, it stung my hand as if an electric current had passed through us. -Bella Swan, Twilight

Forks must be a difficult place for you to live. -Edward Cullen, Twilight

Edward Cullen was leaning against the front door of the Volvo, three cars down from me, and staring intently in my direction. -Bella Swan, Twilight

Bella, it’s not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant. -Edward Cullen, Twilight

On the one hand, I loved the tide pools. They had fascinated me since I was a child; they were one of the only things I ever looked forward to when I had to come to Forks. On the other hand, I’d also fallen into them a lot. Not a big deal when you’re seven and with your dad. It reminded me of Edward’s request — that I not fall into the ocean. -Bella Swan, Twilight

Twilight Movie Quotes:

Isabella Swan: Clair de Lune is great.
Edward Cullen: [Edward spins Isabella around and she gives him a look] What?
Isabella Swan: I can’t dance
[laughs]
Isabella Swan: .
Edward Cullen: Hmm… Well, I could always make you.
Isabella Swan: I’m not scared of you.
Edward Cullen: [laughs] Well you really shouldn’t have said that.

Isabella Swan: Are you going to tell me how you stopped the van?
Edward Cullen: Yeah. Um… I had an adrenaline rush. It’s very common. You can Google it.

Isabella Swan: Will you tell me the truth?
Edward Cullen: No, probably not.
[Bella turns away slighly angry]
Edward Cullen: I’d rather hear your theories.
Isabella Swan: I have considered radioactive spiders and kryptonite.
Edward Cullen: All superhero stuff right? But what if I’m not the hero? What if I am the bad guy?
Isabella Swan: You’re not.
[Edward smiles]

Rosalie Hale: Is she even Italian?
Emmett Cullen: Her name’s Bella.
Dr. Carlisle Cullen: I’m sure she’ll love it no matter what.
Rosalie Hale: [sniffs] Ooh… get a whiff of that. Here comes the human.
[Esme flashes a big grin just before Bella and Edward walk around the corner]
Esme Cullen: [runs up to Bella] Bella! We’re making Italiano for you.
Edward Cullen: Bella, this is Esme, my mother for all intents and purposes.
Isabella Swan: Buon Giorno?
Esme Cullen: Molto Bene!
Dr. Carlisle Cullen: It gives us an excuse to use the kitchen for the first time.
Esme Cullen: I hope you’re hungry.
Isabella Swan: Yeah, absolutely!

Isabella Swan: [to Edward] How did you get over to me so fast?
Edward Cullen: [to Bella] I was standing right next to you, Bella.
Isabella Swan: No. You were next to your car, across the lot.
Edward Cullen: No, I wasn’t.
Isabella Swan: Yes, you were.
Edward Cullen: Bella, you hit your head. I think you’re confused.

Isabella Swan: Look, You gotta give me some answers.
Edward Cullen: Yes. No. To get to the other side. Uh, 1.77245…
Isabella Swan: I don’t want to know what the square root of pi is.
Edward Cullen: You knew that?

Isabella Swan: Hey. Come to visit your truck?
Jacob Black: Hey! Looks good. Got that dent out.
Billy Black: Actually, we came to visit your flat-screen. First Mariners game of the season. Plus, Jacob here keeps bugging me about seeing you again.
Jacob Black: Great, Dad. Thanks.
Billy Black: Just keepin’ it real, son.

Edward Cullen: I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore.
Isabella Swan: Then don’t.

Charlie Swan: Did he hurt you?
Isabella Swan: No.
Charlie Swan: Break up with you or something?
Isabella Swan: No, I-I broke up with him.
Charlie Swan: I thought you liked him?
Isabella Swan: Yea, that’s why – that’s why I have to leave. I don’t want this. I have to go home.
Charlie Swan: Home… Your mom is not even in Phoenix.
Isabella Swan: She’ll come home. I’ll call her from the road.

Edward Cullen: Hold on tight, spidermonkey.
[climbs up tree]
Edward Cullen: Do you trust me?
Isabella Swan: In theory…
Edward Cullen: Close your eyes.

Eric Yorkie: Hey, Mikey – you met my home girl, Bella
Mike Newton: Oh, you-yo-your home girl?
Eric Yorkie: Yeah.
Mike Newton: Yeah?
Mike Newton: My girl.

Jessica Stanley: Hey you’re from Arizona right?
Isabella Swan: Yeah.
Jessica Stanley: Aren’t people from Arizona supposed to be like, really tan?
Isabella Swan: Yeah, maybe, that’s why they kicked me out.

Edward Cullen: [pushes microscope towards Bella] Ladies first.
Isabella Swan: You were gone.
Edward Cullen: Yeah, um, I was out of town for a couple of days, personal reasons.
Isabella Swan: [pushes microscope towards Edward] Uh, prophase.
Edward Cullen: Do you mind if I uh, look?
[Bella shakes her head]
Edward Cullen: It’s prophase.
Isabella Swan: Like I said.
Edward Cullen: So you enjoying the rain?
[Bella laughs]
Edward Cullen: What?
Isabella Swan: You’re asking me about the weather?
Edward Cullen: Yeah, I-I guess I am.
Isabella Swan: Well, I don’t really like the rain. Any cold, wet thing I don’t really…
Edward Cullen: [laughs]
Isabella Swan: What?
Edward Cullen: Nothing uh,

Twilight Books
Twilight DVDs

Edward Cullen: Why didn’t you move with your mother and Phil?
Isabella Swan: Well, Phil’s a minor league baseball player, and uh, he travels a lot, and my mom s-stayed home with me, but I knew it made her unhappy, so I figured I’d stay with my dad for a while.
Edward Cullen: And now you’re unhappy.
Isabella Swan: …no.
Edward Cullen: I’m sorry, I’m just – I’m just trying to figure you out, you’re very difficult for me to read.
Isabella Swan: Hey did you get contacts?
Edward Cullen: No.

Edward Cullen: The hunt is his obsession. He’s never gonna stop!

Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Isabella Swan: What a stupid lamb.
Edward Cullen: What a sick, masochistic lion.

Image source: Movie DVD Cover

Blackadder Television Series Quotes: Part 2

Blackadder is British cult classic Television Series starring Rowan Atkinson. Although each series is set in a different era, all follow the fortunes (or rather, misfortunes) of Edmund Blackadder (played by Atkinson), who in each is a member of a British family dynasty present at many significant periods and places in British history. It is implied in each series that the Blackadder character is a descendant of the previous one, although it is never mentioned how any of the Blackadders manage to father children.

This funny series has many fans around the world, myself included. Here are some funny quotes from the Black adder. This is second part of the series, for first part of quotes: Click Funny Blackadder Quotes: Part 1.

Funny Quotes from Blackadder: Part 2

Percy: I’d like to meet the Spaniard who can make his way past me!
Blackadder: Well, go to Spain. There are millions of them.

Blackadder: Tell me, young crone, is this Putney?
Young Crone: [cackling] That it be! That it be!
Blackadder: “Yes, it is,” not “That it be”. And you don’t have to talk in that stupid voice to me, I’m not a tourist! I seek information about a Wise Woman.
Young Crone: The Wise Woman? The Wise Woman?!
Blackadder: Yes. The Wise Woman.
Young Crone: Two things, my Lord, must ye know of the Wise Woman. First… she is a woman! And second… she is…
Blackadder: Wise?
Young Crone: [normal] You do know her, then?
Blackadder: No, just a wild stab in the dark – which, incidentally, is what you’ll be getting if you don’t start being a bit more helpful! Do you know where she lives?
Young Crone: ‘Course.
Blackadder: Where?
Young Crone: ‘Ere. Do you have an appointment?
Blackadder: No.
Young Crone: Oh… you can go in anyway.
Blackadder: Thank you, young crone. Here is a purse of monies… [she tries to grab it] which I’m NOT going to give to you. [walks in]

Wise Woman: Hail Edmund, Lord of Adders Black!
Blackadder: Hello.
Wise Woman: Step no further, for already I see thy bloody purpose. Thou plotest, Blackadder! Thou would be king, and drown Middlesex in a butt of wine! [cackles madly]
Blackadder: No, it’s much worse than that. I’m in love with my manservant!
Wise Woman: [nonchalant] Well, I’d sleep with him if I were you.
Blackadder: What!?
Wise Woman: When I fancy people, I sleep with them. I have to drug them first, being so old and warty.
Blackadder: But what of my position, my livelihood!?
Wise Woman: Very well, then there are three solutions, three cures for thy ailment. The first is simple: Kill Bob!
Blackadder: Never!
Wise Woman: Then try the second: kill yourself!
Blackadder: And the third?
Wise Woman: The third is to ensure that no one else ever knows.
Blackadder: Ah, that sounds more like it! How?
Wise Woman: KILL EVERYBODY IN THE WHOLE WORLD! [cackles madly]
Blackadder: [disturbed and confounded] Uh-huh.

Lord Flashheart: Thanks, bridesmaid, like the beard. Gives me something to hang onto!

Blackadder: To you, Baldrick, the Renaissance was just something that happened to other people, wasn’t it?

Percy: May I come too, my lord?
Blackadder: No, best not. People might think we’re friends. Better stay here; bird-neck [Percy’s new look] and bird-brain [Baldrick] should get along like a house on fire!

If you have not seen the series, you can check out details here;

Black Adder: The Complete Collector’s Set
Black Adder Remastered V: The Specials
The Black Adder
Black Adder II

[Queenie wishes to see Lord Farrow, who has supposedly been executed]
Blackadder: Percy, this is a very difficult situation.
Percy: Yes, my lord.
Blackadder: Someone’s for the chop. You or me, in fact.
Percy: Ah, yes…
Blackadder: Let’s face facts, Perc: it’s you!
Percy: [nervously] Except, ex-cept… I may have a plan!
Blackadder: [dryly] Oh, yes…
Percy: Yes, eh… How about if we get Lord Farrow’s head and body and we take it to the Queen. Except, ex-cept… just before we get in, we start shouting and screaming, and then we come in saying “We were just on our way when he said something traitorous, and so we cut his head off in the corridor just to teach him a lesson!”
Blackadder: Pathetic! Absolutely pathetic! Contemptible! Worth a try!

Blackadder: To you, it’s a potato. To me, it’s a potato. But to Sir Walter bloody Raleigh, it’s fine estates, luxury carriages and as many girls as his tongue can handle! He’s making a fortune out of the things: people are smoking them, building houses out of them… they’ll be eating them next!

[After Queenie’s poor pirate imitation]
Melchett: [obviously humouring her] I beg your pardon, Your Majesty, but I was hoping to greet the gallant young sailor who hallooed me as I came in. Perchance he has hauled anchor and sailed away?
Queenie: [giggling] No! It was me!
Melchett: Majesty! Surely not!
Blackadder: [to Melchett] You utter creep.

Captain Rum: Truth is, I don’t know the way to the Cape of Good Hope anyway.
Blackadder: Good Lord! What were you going to do?!
Captain Rum: What I usually do: sail round and round the Isle of Wight until everyone’s dizzy and then head for home!
Blackadder: [smiles] You old rascal. Still, who cares? The day after tomorrow, we shall be in Calais. Captain, set sail for France!
[Everyone cheers. Cut to “The Day After The Day After Tomorrow”, when everyone looks less excited.]
Blackadder: … So, you don’t know the way to France either?
Captain Rum: No. I must confess that too.
Blackadder: [turns to Percy and Baldrick] Bugger.

Be sure to check out The Black Adder series, if you have not already done so yet.

If you are fan of the series, check out other DVDs starred by Funnyman Rowan Atkinson.

Source: Blackadder DVD, wikiquote

Image source: Wikipedia

Blackadder Quotes Part 1: British TV Series

Black adder is british Cult Classic Television Series. Blackadder is the name that encompassed four series of a BBC1 historical sitcom, along with several one-off installments. All television program episodes starred Rowan Atkinson as anti-hero Edmund Blackadder and Tony Robinson as Blackadder’s dogsbody, Baldrick. Each series was set in a different historical period with the two protagonists accompanied by different characters. This is part 1 of the series, check out Blackadder Quotes Part 2.

Black Adder TV Series Quotes

Opening narration: History has known many great liars. Copernicus. Goebbels. St. Ralph the Liar. [he is shown holding a sign which reads “St. Benedict the Liar”] But there have been none quite so vile as the Tudor King Henry VII. It was he who rewrote history to portray his predecessor, Richard III, as a deformed maniac who killed his nephews in the Tower. But the real truth is that Richard was a kind and thoughtful man who cherished his young wards, in particular Richard, Duke of York, who grew into a big, strong boy. Henry also claimed he won the Battle of Bosworth Field and killed Richard III. Again, the truth is very different; for it was Richard, Duke of York, who became king after Bosworth Field, and reigned for thirteen glorious years. As for who really killed Richard III and how the defeated Henry Tudor escaped with his life, all is revealed in this, the first chapter of a history never before told: the history of… the Black Adder!

Edmund: I like the cut of your jib, young fella me lad. What’s your name?
Baldrick: My name is Baldrick, my lord.
Edmund: Then I shall call you Baldrick, Baldrick.
Baldrick: And I shall call you “my lord,” my lord.

Percy: It will be a great day tomorrow for we nobles.
Prince Edmund: Well, not if we lose, Percy. If we lose, I’ll be chopped to pieces. My arms will end up at Essex, my torso in Norfolk, and my genitalia stuck up in a tree somewhere in Rutland.

Edmund: Don’t be absurd. Such activities are totally beyond my mother. My father only got anywhere with her because he told her it was a cure for diarrhoea.

Prince Harry: McAngus, this is the man who’ll be providing tomorrow’s entertainments! [gestures to Edmund]
Dougal McAngus: Ah, the eunuch! Delighted to meet you; there’s a groat for the troubles!
Edmund: [in a high pitched voice] I am not a eunuch!
Dougal McAngus: You sound like one to me!
Edmund: [normal voice] I am not a eunuch, I am the Duke of Edinburgh!
Dougal McAngus: [sarcastically] Oh you are, are you!? [turns to Queen Gertrude] Same old story, eh!? Duke of Edinburgh’s about as Scottish as the Queen of England’s tits! [realises] Och, nae offence, your Majesty.

If you have not seen the series, you can check out details here;

Black Adder: The Complete Collector’s Set
Black Adder Remastered V: The Specials
The Black Adder
Black Adder II

Harry: Yes, that’s right. A tragic accident.
Edmund: Almost as tragic as Archbishop Bertram being struck by a falling gargoyle whilst swimming off Beachy Head.
Harry: Yes, or Archbishop Wilfred slipping and falling backwards onto the spire of Norwich Cathedral. Oh, Lord, you do work in mysterious ways.

King Richard IV: [to Edmund] You, as compared to your beloved brother Harry, are as excrement compared to cream!
Harry: Oh, father, you flatter me!
Edmund: And me, also!

Graveney: And if I don’t leave my lands to the church, then what?
William: Then, Lord Graveney, you will assuredly go to Hell.
Graveney: Alas!
William: Hell, where the air is pungent with the aroma of roasted behinds!
Graveney: No, no! (coughs) I place my lands in the hands of the Church (signs) and so bid the world farewell.

Edmund: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
Graveney: Am I in Paradise?
Edmund: No, no, not yet.
Graveney: Then this must be Hell. Alas, spare my posterior!
Edmund: No, no, you’re all right — it’s England.
Graveney: And you are not Satan?
Edmund: No, I’m the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Graveney: Your Grace, I have left all my lands to the Church. Am I to be saved?

Edmund: Someone like you go to Hell? Never. Never!!
Graveney: But I have committed many sins.
Edmund: Haven’t we all, haven’t we all…
Graveney: I murdered my father…
Edmund: Well, I know how you feel.
Graveney: …and I have committed adultery…
Edmund: Well, who hasn’t?
Graveney: …more than a thousand times…
Edmund: Well, it is 1487!
Graveney: …with my mother.
Edmund: WHAT?
King: Good Lord…
Graveney: You see, I *will* go to Hell.

King: Chiswick, remind me to send flowers to the king of France in sympathy for the death of his son.
Chiswick: The one you had murdered, my lord?
King: [absentmindedly] Yes, yes, that’s the fellow.

King: Chiswick, take this to the Queen of Naples. [holds up an urn]
Chiswick: What is it, my lord?
King: The King of Naples!

Percy: Look, look, I just can’t take the pressure of all these omens any more!
Edmund: Percy…
Percy: No, no, really, I’m serious! Only this morning in the courtyard I saw a horse with two heads and two bodies!
Edmund: Two horses standing next to each other?
Percy: Yes, I suppose it could have been.

Edmund: He murdered his whole family!
Pete: Who didn’t? I certainly killed mine.
Wilfred: And I killed mine.
Friar: And I killed yours.
Sean: Did you?
Friar: Yes.
Sean: Good on you, Father.

If you are fan of the series, check out other DVDs starred by Funnyman Rowan Atkinson.

Source: Blackadder DVD, wikiquote

Image source: Blackadder TV show

Bit of Fry and Laurie Quotes from TV Series

A Bit Of Fry And Laurie was a sketch comedy starring Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, broadcast on BBC2 between January 13, 1989 and April 2, 1995. Before Hugh Laurie became a big name in USA with his hit TV series House MD, he was already famous in Bertie and Wooster, Black Adder and Bit of Fry and Laurie TV series!

If you have not seen these funny comedy routine between brilliant Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, do check it out, you will get to see younger and funny side of Hugh Laurie and Fry.

Funny quotes from the “Bit of Fry and Laurie”:

Stephen Fry: Well next week I shall be examining the claims of a man who says that in a previous existence he was Education Secretary Kenneth Baker and I shall be talking to a woman who claims she can make flowers grow just by planting seeds in soil and watering them. Until then, wait very quietly in your seats please. Goodnight.

Hugh Laurie: : So let’s talk instead about flexibility of language – um, linguistic elasticity, if you’d like.

Hugh Laurie: Can I just interrupt you here?

Stephen Fry: Certainly, Peter.

Hugh Laurie: Thanks.

Stephen Fry: Pleasure.

Stephen Fry: [voiceover] Good old Berent’s cocoa. Always there. Original or New Berent’s, specially prepared for the mature citizens in your life, with nature’s added store of powerful barbiturates and heroin

.Stephen Fry: Estate Agents you can’t live with them, you can’t live with them. If you try and kill them, you’re put in prison: if you try and talk to them, you vomit. There’s only one thing worse than an estate agent but at least that can be safely lanced, drained and surgically dressed. Estate agents. Love them or loathe them, you’d be mad not to loathe them.

Stephen Fry: It’s ludicrously easy to knock Mrs. Thatcher, isn’t it? It’s the simplest, easiest and most obvious thing in the world to remark that she’s a shameful, putrid scab, an embarrassing, ludicrous monstrosity that makes one frankly ashamed to be British and that her ideas and standards are a stain on our national history. That’s easy! Anyone can see that! Nothing difficult about that! But after tonight, no one will ever accuse us again with failing to come up with something to take her place. Hugh?[Hugh Laurie pulls out a coat hanger]

Stephen: Twenty-five years ago the doctors told your mother and me that it would be impossible for us ever to have children.

Hugh: Oh, why not?

Stephen: I can’t remember the exact reason; it was something to do with penises I think.

Hugh Laurie: [with an electronic organizer] Ask me anything, a telephone number, what time it is in Adelaide. Tell you what, I can tell you exactly what I’ll be doing on the third of August 1997, say. Hang on… [presses a few buttons]. Nothing. See, it says. Nothing.

Hugh Laurie: Our Venice is being taken away from us. It’s crawling with Germans.

Leslie: And Italians.

Hugh Laurie: A good wife, or a good business partner?

Stephen Fry: Is there a difference, Peter?

Hugh Laurie: I hope so, John.

Stephen Fry:: Yes, I think that I’ve said earlier that our language, English –

L: As spoken by us.

F: As we speak it, yes, certainly, defines us. We are defined by our language, if you will

L: [to screen] Hello. We’re talking about language.

F: Perhaps I can illustrate my point. Let me at least try. Here is a question: um…

L: What is it?<

F: Oh! Um… my question is this: is our language – English – capable… is English capable of sustaining demagoguery?

L: Demagoguery?

F: Demagoguery.

L: And by “demagoguery” you mean…

F: By “demagoguery” I mean demagoguery…

L: I thought so.

F: I mean highly-charged oratory, persuasive whipping-up rhetoric. Listen to me, listen to me. If Hitler had been British, would we, under similar circumstances, have been moved, charged up, fired up by his inflammatory speeches, or would we simply have laughed? Is English too ironic to sustain Hitlerian styles? Would his language simply have rung false in our ears?

L: [to screen] We’re talking about things ringing false in our ears.

F: May I compartmentalize – I hate to, but may I, may I: is our language a function of our British cynicism, tolerance, resistance to false emotion, humour, and so on, or do those qualities come extrinsically – extrinsically – from the language itself? It’s a chicken and egg problem.

L: [to screen] We’re talking about chickens, we’re talking about eggs.

F: Um… let me start a leveret here: there’s language and there’s speech. Um, there’s chess and there’s a game of chess. Mark the difference for me. Mark it please.

L: [to screen] We’ve moved on to chess.

F: Imagine a piano keyboard, eh, 88 keys, only 88 and yet, and yet, hundreds of new melodies, new tunes, new harmonies are being composed upon hundreds of different keyboards every day in Dorset alone. Our language, tiger, our language: hundreds of thousands of available words, frillions of legitimate new ideas, so that I can say the following sentence and be utterly sure that nobody has ever said it before in the history of human communication: “Hold the newsreader’s nose squarely, waiter, or friendly milk will countermand my trousers.” Perfectly ordinary words, but never before put in that precise order. A unique child delivered of a unique mother.

L: [to screen] …

F: And yet, oh, and yet, we, all of us, spend all our days saying to each other the same things time after weary time: “I love you,” “Don’t go in there,” “Get out,” “You have no right to say that,” “Stop it,” “Why should I,” “That hurt,” “Help,” “Marjorie is dead.” Hmm? Surely, it’s a thought to take out for cream tea on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

L: So, to you, language is more than just a means of communication?

F: Oh, of course it is, of course it is, of course it is, of course it is. Language is my mother, my father, my husband, my brother, my sister, my whore, my mistress, my check-out girl… language is a complimentary moist lemon-scented cleansing square or handy freshen-up wipette. Language is the breath of God. Language is the dew on a fresh apple, it’s the soft rain of dust that falls into a shaft of morning light as you pluck from a old bookshelf a half-forgotten book of erotic memoirs. Language is the creak on a stair, it’s a spluttering match held to a frosted pane, it’s a half-remembered childhood birthday party, it’s the warm, wet, trusting touch of a leaking nappy, the hulk of a charred Panzer, the underside of a granite boulder, the first downy growth on the upper lip of a Mediterranean girl. It’s cobwebs long since overrun by an old Wellington boot

.L: [to screen] Night-night.

Hugh: Well we had our first child on the NHS and had to wait nine months, can you believe it.

Stephen Fry: How may we serve?

Hugh Laurie: Well, I was after a pair of shoes.

Stephen Fry: Very well. I shall serve them first.

You can see all Bit of Fry and Laurie on Prime here.

A Bit of Fry and Laurie: The Complete Collection… Every Bit!

Hugh Laurie: You ever been trapped in a loveless marriage with a woman you despise?

Stephen Fry: Ooh, not since I was nine! Do you like it straight up?

Laurie: What?

Fry: [holding up his drink] Or with ice?

Laurie: Ice.

Fry: Right-ho. [adds ice] Cocktail onion?

Laurie: No thanks.

Hugh Laurie: She takes no interest in my friends, you know. She laughs at my…

Stephen Fry: Peanuts?

Hugh Laurie: Hobbies. She doesn’t even value my…

Stephen Fry: Crinkle-cut cheesy Wotsit?

Hugh Laurie: Career. You know, it’s just so depressing. Alright, so other men have got larger…

Stephen Fry: Plums?

Hugh Laurie: Salaries. And better prospects. And other men can boast a healthier-looking…

Stephen Fry: Stool?

Hugh Laurie: [sitting on stool] Lifestyle.

Hugh Laurie: The trouble with that woman is that she’s just a…

Stephen Fry: Rather disgusting-looking tart that should’ve been disposed of ages ago?

Hugh Laurie: I tell you what it is: she’s a complainer, that’s what she is.

Hugh Laurie: Alright, so, so I haven’t got loads of cash hanging around. You know, but why complain? Other people are worse off. I’ve got a job. I’ve got two sweet, rosy…

Stephen Fry: Nibbles?

Hugh Laurie: Children. She goes on and on about my appearance. I mean, it’s not as if she’s an oil painting, you know. I mean, frankly she’s…

Stephen Fry: [points] Plain and prawn-flavoured.

Hugh Laurie: She’s not as young as she used to be herself

Hugh Laurie: I’ve always been a Daily Mail reader. I prefer it to a newspaper.

Source: IMDB, Wikiquote

Image source: Bit of Fry and Laurie DVD